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My personal boyfriend’s ex-wife keeps a boy (age 14) from a past connection, who my personal boyfriend

My personal boyfriend’s ex-wife keeps a boy (age 14) from a past connection, who my personal boyfriend

Email your questions to tips columnists Carolyn Hax and Amy Dickinson or study latest issues daily at Freep.com.

Dad pouring cereal for children (picture: Andersen Ross, Getty Images/Blend artwork)

Dear Amy: Im at this time dating/living with my sweetheart of three years. They have a girl (9 years of age) from a previous relationship we need with our company every single other weekend.

will sometimes refer to as his “stepson,” although for as long as we have been along they have never ever spent any moment with your, nor got any exposure to him, except for periodically seeing the “stepson” as he drops off/picks up his child.

There is a secondary approaching, and my boyfriend’s girl asked the girl sibling datingranking.net/biggercity-review (the “stepson”) commit without our approval.

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My date sounds more comfortable with the “stepson” heading, but I’m not comfortable with-it.

If you ask me yesteryear should stay-in yesteryear, as there are no reason at all to try and co-mingle family (apart from my personal boyfriend’s child).

I will also point out that my date with his ex-wife comprise merely collectively for three decades. Exactly what are your thoughts on this? In the morning we overreacting?

Dear Torn: we don’t determine if you will be overreacting, however are definitely guilty of over-punctuating.

Your own insistence on talking about your own guy’s stepson as a “stepson” — just as if this will be debatable — is actually exposing.

Your boyfriend got partnered with the boy’s mummy, right? Then the child may be the man’s stepson.

I know many, many stepparents which stay close to their particular stepchildren following wedding is finished. This is certainly best but not constantly feasible, especially if the stepparent’s after that partner provides fast ideas towards “past residing in the past,” and not “co-mingling families.”

The guy’s daughter shouldn’t have actually invited this child on your vacation, but — she’s 9. He’s their uncle. She probably produced some presumptions by what constitutes a “family getaway” that simply don’t frequently pertain in cases like this.

If this teen resides along with his aunt as well as their mummy, then he is in the girl’s lives

A 9-year-old shouldn’t be creating last alternatives about your holiday, but you should consult with your spouse regarding it privately and determine between you what you should do.

If you two select to not ever through the child, you’ll explain they similar to this: “We’re maybe not attending consist of your now, however’ve reminded me that We don’t learn him that really. Maybe however choose to spend time with our company sometime on one of this sundays you’re here. Do You Want that?”

Dear Amy: My personal girl gets partnered about 250 miles from your home the coming year. I’ve already asked my friends and family members if they envision they might sign up for, and just 1 of 20 said she will probably.

We informed my girl that she, the woman fiance and his parents should also casually poll their loved ones so that they don’t place in initial deposit on a hallway for no less than 100 men and women whenever best 20 may recognize the invite.

My daughter states that would be a rude and unsatisfactory course of action.

We state it might probably save your self plenty of money whether they have a vague concept of exactly how many attendees to intend on before committing to a big banquet hallway that they’ll wanted financing to purchase.

Exactly what are your thoughts with this method, please?

— Really Alarmed MOB

DETROIT TOTALLY FREE PRESS

Group gets a head start worrying all about Thanksgiving

Dear MOB: it isn’t impolite to inquire of family and relation if they can be available for a wedding on a certain big date; people make an effort to accomplish this by delivering “save the day” sees far ahead of time, but (like you) i simply believe it is smart to attempt to have a fundamental count before placing lower a deposit.

But — it’s your daughter’s event, maybe not yours. Unless you’re funding this or are now being questioned designed for your own input, you ought to allow the couple take care of it.

It isn’t a good idea to sign up for financing to fund weddings; starting wedded life with debt for a one-day event was putting lots of strain on the few.

Dear Amy: I got to have a good laugh within letter from “Peeved,” exactly who resented the fact that their buddy (just who could manage workers) got asked for support transferring.

I recently experienced this feel last weekend! A bunch of us arrived to aid. One pal harmed his back, one friend fallen a table, and total it had been a real mess.

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